10 months | A Letter to My Daughter

Hi there sweet girl. Happy 10 months. It has been a relatively uneventful month for everyone here. Summer finally arrived, which means your dad has been at home with us the past few weeks! I know you have loved it. He makes you laugh so much.

This was all a bittersweet realization for me, too. Our first year at home together, just me and my tiny new baby, has all of a sudden come to an end. You are no longer a tiny baby; and when your dad goes back to to work in the Fall you will be almost one. My heart just about cannot handle that.

On a similar note, did you know that after 9 months, Target moves you up to TODDLER?! I truly, truly just about had a breakdown in the store the other day. You are still in 6-9 month clothes (I think you just cracked the 16 lb ceiling this month) but I thought I would try to look for some summer clothes for later in the year when it is still hot. So I was looking for 12 mo pieces in their baby section, but couldn't find any. I happened to glance over at a rack of shorts on the Toddler side and noticed a pair with an 18 mo tag. Flipping through them, I then found a 12 mo pair.

Guess who left Target with no shorts.

I was not...AM NOT….ready to start shopping for you in the Toddler section. I know it's so silly. But you are my baby. I want you to grow big and strong and healthy, but at the same time I want you to stay my baby. How can this time already be coming to an end?

So I found myself standing in the middle of the aisle at Target, completely dumbstruck by the thought of how fast this time has passed. For what was probably 45-60 seconds I was stuck…frozen...as I stood outside the children's section trying to remember what groceries I needed. It was an odd, odd moment for me. I know we have so many wonderful memories to make as you get older, but I wish I could just bottle these first months up and come back and revisit them. The thought that I will never again have you as a one month old, or two month, or six month old…it's just a little too much for my emotional self to bear.

Here are some moments from your 10th month.

blog1More adventures in food.

Your gag reflex is strong and working. I am grateful for that when you, for instance, chew yet another corner off a piece of mail. (By the way, you love when I carry you with me to check the mail. As soon as I pull everything out of the mailbox you are reaching for it. You grab whatever you can out of my hands and start waving the envelopes excitedly back and forth.)

But oatmeal? Too chunky. Not a fan yet. Blueberry puree…yes. Blueberry puree in oatmeal…nope.

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Your brother is SO good with you. He reads to you, and plays with you, and pretty much adores you. And the feeling is mutual. You light up (and often scream excitedly) whenever you see him. You laugh so loudly whenever he makes faces at you. I know there will be sibling squabbles at some point in the future, but I am pretty confident you guys are going to be very close. blog3

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I think we are on the last stages of use with your bouncer. (Didn't I just post about buying it for you?!)

You occasionally reach for it, but more often than not it sits unused. Look how tall you are! When we got it a few months ago your feet were barely brushing the ground.blog4

Playtime has become pretty entertaining. You are into everything, and though you are still not crawling, you are getting pretty good at rolling/dragging yourself across the floor.blog5blog6blog12

You finally got to meet one of my very best friends and her new baby boy, and she got to meet you! blog7

Back when you were a newborn, I found a great deal on a used high chair, and I jumped on it and brought it home to our already overflowing-with-baby-things two bedroom house. It sat unused for months, until you could sit up, then it sat unused for longer, because I never wanted to put you in it. It was super cushy, and sturdy, and had a ton of bells and whistles. But it was such a bear to clean. So I decided to bite the bullet and sell it, and we got you this one. Simple and basic and so much easier to keep clean. It has been a game changer when it comes to feeding you. Its way easier for you to sit up in than the bumbo, and you can even attempt to feed yourself.

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This was not a huge success, but it was enjoyable to watch.

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Your dad was less than thrilled when he got home. Just remember--he may be the funny one, but I'm the one that will let you hang out in a diaper all day and get messy. blog11

Summer=popsicles.  Needless to say, you loved your first taste of one. blog10

You went swimming for the first time!

Your brothers early morning swim lessons were…early.

Bedhead and breakfast on the go. You are definitely my daughter. blog20

When I see this smile I see signs of the spunky personality that is beginning to emerge.

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And then of course there's this:blog23

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You look like you're boogying in this picture:

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You've always loved baths, so I am not surprised you enjoyed the pool. It was so much fun experiencing another first with you.

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To end the month we went on a spontaneous picnic. Another first. I love picnics…I love the unplugged-ness of them. There is just something about eating outside on a blanket with your family that reminds you of the sweet, simple pleasures in life.

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You stare at our food. It is kind of heartbreaking!  I want to give it ALL to you to try. blog28

The iPhone photos:

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You are eating lentils off the spatula above. That has been one semi-chunky food you can keep down. And you LOVE it. blog14blog15blog16

Now this picture on the left.... This was an experience.

I've mentioned before your dislike for being in the car. Truthfully, you pretty much hate it. And you won't sleep in the car either, so you're just all around pretty much miserable.

Because of that, and for your sake, we haven't traveled that much. But we really wanted to take you and your brother to the beach this summer. We thought by July maybe you would have outgrown your inability to nap in the car so we planned a trip to Florida, broken up into a couple days of driving.

Well, we took a  "trial run" to visit your grandfather to see if your car traveling capabilities had improved any. And it was awful. I didn't think it was possible, but you were even more unhappy now than in road trips past. You cried, and screamed, and reached for me, and turned bright red….for a good two hours. I tried to stop to feed you; you wouldn't eat. I tried to play with you and sing to you, and you were completely inconsolable. I SO BADLY wanted to scoop you out of your carseat and hold you. But we didn't want to stop too much because we knew we needed to get to a place where we could set up your travel crib so you could finally sleep.

Anyhow, you got so upset that you vomited all over yourself. I tried to catch us much as I could with my hand…thats how much I love you…but it was everywhere.

I've always thought the saying "burst into tears" was a hyperbole. I mean, most crying starts fairly gradually and then escalates, I thought. I can usually feel it in my throat first…thats when I know tears are coming. But when this happened, I just sobbed. And truly burst into tears. I had no clue what to do, going 70mph on a two lane road in the middle of nowhere. Your dad stayed calm, fortunately, and we were able to stop and get you cleaned up, and you finally fell asleep soon after (for about 15 minutes). But it was just terrible. I don't know if you can tell how worn out you are in the picture below.

We cancelled our trip to Florida soon after. I desperately wanted to see you experience the beach, but not if the trip there was going to make you so miserable. Hopefully next year. blog18blog17Waiting for a table with your dad, and out to lunch for Uncle Jacob's bday. The picture below  is pretty typical…anytime Aunt Rachel is around, you are always trying to find her. And your uncle is never looking at the camera.blog19

So that's about it baby girl. Car trips aside, you are still a smiley, happy little thing, and you bring us an indescribable about of joy. No matter how many tears are cried, another month with you is better than any without. You are a precious, precious gift, and I love you SO, SO much.

Love,

your mom