7 Mo Add-On | A Letter to My Daughter

So Adalyn, I know I wrote you already this month, but I somehow failed to include one of the biggest steps we've taken together since you were born. And I just had to get this down because we all know I don't want to forget any of this, and this was a step. A tear-filled, anxiety-inducing step. Your dad is probably going to read this and roll his eyes and think o.m.g your mother is obsessive and still insanely emotional. And he's probably right.

But. This was a big, big thing I was holding on to, that God had to pretty much wrench from my clenched fist.

And that is you sleeping in your own crib at night.

I KNOW. You got to stay with us longer than lots of babies. In our little house we were living in for the first few months of your life (while our current house was being finished) it was a necessity. Not only because you were a newborn, but because it was a two-bedroom house, and your brother obviously had the other room. But then we moved, and though I know your dad believed it was probably time, I just wasn't ready. He didn't bring it up though, and we all know I didn't want to, so next to our bed your little pack n' play went again. You did sleep in your crib for naps, but that was different. I was awake and could keep an eye on you if necessary.

Fast forward two months, to me getting sick. I had recently been reflecting on how grateful I was that I hadn't really caught anything while pregnant or since having you, especially since I've been trying to stay away from most/all medications. Then, of course, some awful respiratory infection hit and not only did my head and chest feel like they were about to explode, but I was terrified that I had an end-of-season flu and was going to pass it to you. You couldn't get the flu shot this year because of your age, so of course my worrisome tendencies kicked in and I nursed you with a mask on for days that the doctor at the Urgent Care clinic gave me. Fortunately, my flu test was negative, but because I had not known that the day before, we had decided that your dad should probably put you to bed that night, and in your room at that.  I didn't want to keep you up all night with my coughing and sneezing.

And we repeated the same routine the next night, for the same reason. Then I started to feel better. And though I wanted so badly to have you next to the bed still, your dad and I both noticed you slept more soundly in there. It's darker in your room, plus there wasn't the risk of being woken by us getting ready for bed or the dog tap dancing around.

So, since the bandaid had already been ripped off without me knowing, I officially accepted that you would be sleeping in your room now. And it was hard. I cried the first couple of nights. I had gotten in the habit of going to bed semi-early so that I could get some sleep in before you awoke hungry or before your dad came to bed and woke you (because he is not graceful and would inevitably run into the bench or trip over something) . So when I went to get ready for bed that first night, and the lamp was still on and your bassinet was sitting next to the bed empty it just got me. It was so strange to sit up in bed and read with the lights on.

I think the intent behind keeping babies in their parents room is typically for night feedings, and for SIDS prevention. (Experts say that this helps, so of course we would do anything to keep you safe). But then it became a comfort thing, and I just loved being able to roll over and look down on you in your bassinet while you slept. I do know, though, that you are probably more comfortable in your crib, and that in the long run it is better for you. Even though you STILL haven't reached the bassinet insert weight limit on your pack n play, your little legs were starting to touch the sides when you would roll over.

So I can never be brief when talking about you, but to sum it up... you are in your crib, you are happy, momma was sad, but that's the nature of watching your baby grow huh?

Love you sweet girl,

your mom

Your dad always said that waking your brother up first thing in the morning was his favorite part of the day. Unfortunately I didn't get to do that with him, but I totally get it now. :)

Birth Story Sneak Peek | Fort Worth Birth Photography

Birth stories are a little harder to edit than all other sessions because there are so many photos, and I don't want to ever discard of any images that may be special or important to the parents. So I am slowly working through these from last night, but just had to share a peek at the moment right after this beautiful little guy met his parents. He had to spend a few minutes away from them as soon as he entered the world for some procedural stuff, but the second he was laid on mom's chest, it was like he belonged there. It is so amazing to me how they just instinctively know that this is the person who has been with them for 10 months and will be with them forever. Once he curled up on mom, he grabbed dad's finger like he was never going to let go, and all was right with the world.

Cooper | Fort Worth Newborn Photography

No one-no one-can understand how emotional parenting a newborn is, until you do it (at least for moms….dads, I don't know).  No one also, though, will ever know how AMAZING it is as well, until it is experienced. Yet, it is hard. You have this huge, crazy, ridiculous love for the tiny baby you birthed, but with that comes this enormous sense of responsibility to do right by them…and often no idea what the "right" thing for them is. But just as I believe that God knows our children before we do, I also believe that he created them specifically for each of us. So you trust in that, love your baby, and take it day by day. If someone asked you if you wanted to give up sleep for a year, handle bodily fluids all day, and spend your time with people that cry a lot, you'd probably say thanks but no thanks. Yet we do it every day….so, so willingly. Because our babies are the best things that have ever happened to us.

Sometimes they fuss, and you don't know why. Sometimes they cry, and you don't know how to make it all better. Sometimes they scream, and you worry they're hurt. It's worry after worry after worry. But it is all WORTH it.

Which is why I never go in to newborn sessions with expectations anymore. Each baby is different, each baby is special, each baby is so worth the work…no matter what temperament they are in.  If the baby doesn't sleep; its ok. If they cry, it's ok. If they don't want to pose..it's totally ok! I photograph newborns so that families have images to remember this special, fleeting time by. That is what I wanted when I had my daughter, and that is what I want to give to others.

Little Cooper here is such a handsome little guy, and he sure put his parents to work during our photo shoot(s). Yep, we had two of them. After much cuddling and rocking and shushing on day 1, we decided to give sweet Cooper a break and try again a few days later. And it was fine! Because yes, we did get some sweet baby photos of him on his own, but my favorites are (and always will be) the images of baby being held and loved. There is no other time beyond infancy where your arms will so often be filled with cuddly baby warmth. I say we take advantage of it.